Dear Mr. Birkenmeier

I have received this email 5 times now. I have been computing big numbers in my head since the government has been bailing out everyone. Just trying to get a grasp on the scope of it. The first time I read this, I laughed. So I checked the math. Read the email and see what you think.

Hi Pals,
I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG. Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend. To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+. Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up.. So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon that equals $425,000.00. My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let's assume a tax rate of 30%. Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes. That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam. But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket. A husband and wife has $595,000.00. What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?
Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved. Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads put away money for college - it'll be there-Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs, buy a new car - create jobs, invest in the market - capital drives growth
Pay for your parent's medical insurance - health care improves-Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else.

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces. If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult
U S Citizen 18+! As for AIG - liquidate it. Sell off its parts. Let American General go back to being American General. Sell off the real estate. Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up. Here's my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't. Sure it's a crazy idea that can "never work." But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party! How do you spell Economic Boom?

I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion We Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC. And remember, The Birk plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.
Ahhh...I feel so much better getting that off my chest.
Kindest personal regards,
Birk
T. J. Birkenmeier, A Creative Guy & Citizen of the Republic
PS: Feel free to pass this along to your pals as it's either good for a laugh or a tear or a very sobering thought on how to best use $85 Billion!!

Dear Mr. Birkenmeier

May I just begin with how fun it is to say your last name? I understand that the number of zeros at the end of a billion is a lot and you seem like a nice guy that means well. I would however appreciate not getting the American public in a frenzy over math that is fundamentally false. When you begin with a idea, you must get the first number right. You are referring to $85,000,000,000.(Billion) that was used to prop up AIG as a loan. However, in your math you added too many zeros. If you divide $85 Billion by 200,000,000 citizens, you get $425 not $425,000. I think this is a big deal. You see you were using $85,000,000,000,000 (Trillion). Kind of embarrassing! This is almost 10 times the national sovereign debt. Perhaps before sending out a thrilling email next time, you could try the division one extra time. What scares me is there is probably a congressman who got this email and now it's half way to becoming law.

Love,

A concerned citizen of the republic and owner of a Windows calculator

Kirk :)