I say incredibly stupid things that would make most women cry off a whole tube of mascara and lock themselves in the bedroom until they received a pound of chocolate to open the door and discuss the gross negligence of her husband in the sensitivity department. She just looks at me and gives me the "grace period" to correct myself. I usually catch on in the first awkward 10-20 seconds that I should stop the brain, rewind the stenographic transcription and see what it was that I just said that didn't sit right. If I don't try to overdue the apology, she usually just laughs and we both realize that our brains work on different networks. However, if I try too hard to make things right, I have obviously forgotten that I have just parachuted myself into a dormant mine field and apologies are best left to "I'm sorry. I love you."
Yesterday we had friends over to try dutch oven beef brisket, bread and potatoes and I'm not so sure that something in brisket doesn't make me have crazy dreams. Either that or the cup of bacon grease used to cook the cheesy potatoes. Exhibit A for your consideration. The conversation last night turned to how much she likes my Blackberry addiction. Obviously I tried to change the subject but the eyes had already been rolled back in the head, her head had shaken and I knew it was coming. Her opinions made clear that I may have a bit of a problem. So last night in the depths of slumber, in un-wife like fashion, my wife presented me with a list of 10 Blackberry conduct rules. She called it the Blackberry Ultimatum.1. Don't use your Blackberry at the dinner table.
2. Don't check your email on the Blackberry after you leave the office.
3. Don't write blog entries on the Blackberry.
4. Don't use Google Maps while driving.
5. Don't use the Blackberry for Facebook.
6. Don't drop everything you're doing to see who just emailed you.
7. Don't check your email in the middle of the night.
As we walked and talked about the list, I rebutted after #7, "So what's the point of having a Blackberry?" I realize this was one of those moments to say you're sorry and admit you're an idiot but instead I got a Facebook friend request on the Blackberry and had to run. I guess I don't see what the big deal is. That doesn't change the fact that she's by far the best wife I've ever had.
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